Get your KEVIN On...

Question:  I've tried resolutions - I'm done with them.  How do I get healthy, in a real way?

Discussion:

Pump it, sweat it

Every rep, count it

Uh, Ah, Uh, Ah

10, 11, 12, 13

No, I cannot make it

Come on now, work it

Feel it, live it

Every set, count it

Why did I come today?

Why didn't I stay away?

Surely I cannot make it

Step on it, work it

And so it goes...on and on, over and over.  The verses sound like they came out of a fitness video or fitness tape.  How many of us have seen infomercials where supremely fit athletes promote products that promise to tone the body?  Most products are supposed to be easy-to-use, guarantee results in a few days, easy to stow away, and allow you to keep your current diet.  One word: Bologna.  :)  The ingredient that is never discussed in these fitness recipes is "human willingness" or "mental fortitude".  You cannot buy it at GNC no matter how much you are willing to spend.

For a moment, let us set aside the 15-20% people among us who have tremendous mental fortitude - they can will themselves to exercise and eat right (or do anything for that matter) no matter what circumstances they find themselves in.  My roommate from my undergraduate school was such a guy - he would focus on his notes prior to tests as though someone was going to take them away from him.  Rain, shine, hunger, dorm noise or pesky roommates notwithstanding, George's concentration would rarely waiver.  It is no surprise that he topped his class in Electrical Engineering.  For the rest of us, matter triumphs over mind most of the time.  We run 4 miles and feel so great that we eat a huge dinner and polish it off with dessert.  We lift for 1.5 hours on one day and feel that it is a license to go drinking with our buddies.  A bowl of cereal in the morning with some fruits is like having permission to say, "supersize it".  In other words, we end up immediately negating any gain from exercising.  I have been caught in this dilemma for most of my adult years and have wondered if there was a way out.

There is a way out!  It is called K E V I N, which is an acronym!  Here is how it goes.


K(alm):

It starts with deep introspection during which one uncovers and faces one's goals - during this step, don't go for the low-hanging fruit.  Deep introspection is about hearing your inner voice.  For this you'll need to calm yourself down, switch off all stimuli like TVs/IPODs, and just listen to your mind.  This step is about uncovering the most deep seated concerns or insecurities that you have related to your physical self.  "I feel that my thighs are too big," "Why can't I exercise more restrain during eating", "I really would like to do away with my persistent back pain," and "I'm not sure why people stare at my love handles" are all acceptable responses.  :)  In fact, the more explicit the list of goals, the better.  I started by asking you to focus on your physical self but you will soon realize that some of your goals won't have anything to do with your body.  For example, you may come up with, "I don't want to feel nervous" or "I cannot get myself to go and workout" or "I would like to get along with my parents-in-law".

E(mpathy):

If you interview a teacher, he/she will tell you that I can teach only if the student wants to learn.  There are so many analogies that express this thought (including taking the horse to the water but being unable to make it drink).  Teachers will also tell you that most things in life do not come without work and perseverance.

I introduced this blog by talking about human willingness (the want) and mental fortitude (the stay-with-it-ness).  The first step, "Kalm," will result in a list of your goals.  You will be tempted to go after the quick-fix (the diet pill, the thigh gizmo available for $19.95, the end-all-and-be-all diet, etc.) for the bigger goals.  If you are ever besieged by the urge to invest in any of these quick-fixes, remember your teachers' words.  Treat your goals with empathy (understand them).  Ask yourself, "How about I go after just the top three this year?"  Let me give you a hint - most of your goals can be classified into three categories. (a) Sound body, (b) Sound Mind, [and (c) A Deeper Connection to Others & A Higher Power].  Willingness and fortitude take work/energy- if you pursue too many goals, you will spread your energy too thin.  Also, it is a self-propelling process - the more willingness/fortitude you commit to an activity, the more chances of success of that activity, and the more chances of your mind developing willingness/fortitude for other activities.  Empathy will allow you to treat yourself with compassion and that will permit you to pick a few goals to go after.

V(isualization):

Dr. Wayne Dyer says that "if you change the way you see the world, the world you see changes."  In this step, you have to decide if you want to see the world as kind or evil. Why?  A kind world comes to your aid in achieving your goals, while an evil world runs away from you or at worst, acts to your detriment.  Thoughts like "I will definitely fail in goal one" and "Circumstances will conspire to prevent me for reaching any of my goals" belong to an evil world while those like, "I can see myself achieving my first goal," or "I have found the perfect teacher who is going to guide and coach me to accomplishment" belong to a kind world.

You must be able to see your goals as a part of the kind world - otherwise, they will not be fulfilled.  The mental fortitude and willingness that we covered earlier belong to the kind world; despair, panic, and frustration belong to the evil world.  Believing in a kind world is not some kind of hocus-pocus - it is a mental exercise and one that needs lots of practice.  Positive begets positive; negative begets negative.  Visualize yourself being connected to an infinite Source, which does not know failure or despair, and panic or frustration; as a consequence of that connection to Source (ref. Dr. Wayne Dyer) visualize you fulfilling your goals.  The best example I can give you is watching the best tennis players play and then imagining you making the shots that they make; the imagining helps the mind to figure out the signals that it needs to send your muscles to emulate what you saw.  In essence, the Source provides the fuel necessary for your engine to propel you towards your goals.  And this is an iterative process; you work on your visualization and then work on your goals and so on (see section below on Nurture on how to work on your goals).  If you cannot visualize yourself fulfilling your goals, then they are too lofty, and you need to go back to the Kalm and Empathy steps.  Remember, no quick fixes.  Alphabets before nouns, nouns before verbs, verbs before phrases, phrases before sentences, and sentences before paragraphs!

I(nvitation):

As you get better at your Visualization step, move to the Invitation step.  In this you literally invite (of course, in your mind's eye) the kind world to send your way the tools that you need to fulfill your goals.  Remember that in the first three steps, we focused on preparing you mentally to accept the challenge of achieving your goals.  Now, it is time to locate the necessary "environment".  Since positive begets positive and you are now radiating positive energy through Kalm, Empathy and Visualization steps, the kind world will respond by "sending" you the environment in which your goals can be fulfilled.  This takes faith (and patience) but works every time - believe me.  This is tantamount to people saying, "All the while I was searching for the answer when it was right in front of me".  By changing the way you saw the world, you change the world you see.  The world will send you ALL the resources that you will need.
 
N(urture):

This is the step when you go to work.  With your goals selected with empathy and visualized as already being complete, you begin putting in the hard work in the environment that the kind world has provided.  More often than not, the world also sends along a Teacher, which is the ultimate gift/blessing.  A Teacher is an Energy which is at a higher level of achievement than you are.  The harder you work in this stage, the more of a nurturing hand you will find with the Teacher.


Get your KEVIN On!  If you ever look back, which you won't, look only to K(alm) and re-establish new goals!  Good luck.  May all your goals be fulfilled.

Dedication:  This is dedicated to Mr. Kevin Bonner (see this Teacher at http://kbtraining.biz/index.html)


Acknowledgments: The artists/photographers whose pictures are used for illustration and Dr. Wayne Dyer.